This word was discussed last year and it has resonated with me in many ways. The definition states it is the opposite of flourishing and includes- burnout, no motivation and numbness. When the Covid pandemic started people showed care, compassion and empathy towards each other. As everyone feels the burn out of Covid, testing, mask and all the changes to our world I feel so many people are experiencing languishing. Being a counselor and an empath I feel this is so many ways. I try daily to think of ways to be positive, bring people up and to be empathetic- but lately I think the “languishing” has bled into my emotional state. I wonder what is going to get us all to a better place.
Confidence
Where does confidence come from? When I was a child I remember thinking adults knew all the answers. As an adult myself, I understand this is most definitely not the case. Is confidence just a way someone presents themselves to the world or is it more based on ego and a primary sense of authority? Working with people and adolescents every day it is remarkable how some people just seem “confident”. It seems hard to differentiate why some people have this trait and others don’t?
Grace and Compassion
Is this crazy Covid world we are now living where has all the compassion gone? During the start of the pandemic people were scared, but we turned to our neighbors, thanked our teachers, appreciated our nurses, loved our families a little harder. Now as we approach a time where this Covid challenge has been upon us for almost two years, it feels like there is just so much anger. Is the anger stemming from too many frustrations? Why have so many of us forgotten we all need a little grace? Every one of us have been challenged- why not listen and support instead of creating more fear and anger?
Protecting our kids
As a parent and counselor I can understand wanting to protect our children. It is hard to watch them fail, hurt and struggle. As an adult it seems natural to not want a child to feel pain or experience a hardship. Some adults go to great lengths to protect children shielding them from everything and others expose them to everything in life that is challenging. How do we draw the line and what is the right amount of exposure good or bad? It seems to be important to know the child. Isn’t some exposure to “real life” important? This struggle can be hard. Kids need problem solving skills , but how much truth is just too much?
Disappointments
Being disappointed can be very challenging. With Covid, we hit a all time record of being disappointed. When people disappoint us do we tell them, do we just act like it doesn’t matter, do we just give up? Do we all feel the same level of disappointment or do some people have different expectations of those around them. When events happen that cause disappointment at least we know that a person hasn’t let us down. When a person we care about and value let us down it seems to be a harder blow, and it can be hard to know how to move forward.
Views and opinions
Why do we allow other peoples opinions to bother us so much? Do we feel the need to be “right” and those that have opposing views to be “wrong”. During the time of Covid- peoples views have been exposed so much more about so many different things. How do we let each other’s opinions not damage relationships with one another or make us genuinely upset?
Fear
So many things seem to be impacted by peoples fears. People present angry, frustrated, disappointed and hateful because of fear. Instead of fear, what if we acknowledged our feelings, talked to one another and tried to understand different opinions. Listening to each other’s views doesn’t mean we need to agree, but just acknowledge each other’s perspective. Understanding each other’s perspective and feelings could cut down on the anguish and fear we are feeling and create more understanding.
You get more bees with honey
It is amazing how many people want to enter a conversation by yelling. It is so important when you are dealing with a conflict to take a step back before reacting. You may get “heard” if you yell, but you will probably get what you are looking for in the long run.
What I learned from Listening
Listening is something we so often don’t really do. Really listening and finding ways to relate have been eye opening.
Where to start…
As a mom, daughter, wife and counselor working with kids I learn something new everyday. I love helping others and listening to others. I often get ideas and thoughts I would like to share and believe could be helpful. I certainly do not know it all, but I have 18+ years working as a counselor and have seen and experienced a lot. I look forward to sharing thoughts, ideas and new ways to grow.
What I Learned from Listening to Parents and Kids 